by Roxane Hudon
This list focuses on television and includes shows I’ve watched entire seasons of, or just 1 or 2 episodes (which sometimes is enough and too much)
10. So You Think You Can Dance
Even though you may claim to watch it “for the dancing,” most parts of this show are completely unbearable. Especially the back stories and the celebrity judges who know nothing about dance and say vague things like “your movements were nice.” Watch incredibly old person/ puppet Debbie Reynolds make a fool of herself at 2 mins. Also, this dance is supposed to be “about soldiers coming home.” Oh man. Watch monster/ awful human being Mary Something melt her face about war at 3 mins. (The judges even mention president Obama…..stick to dancing you ninnies..)
9. The Voice
New p’tite grosse Christina Aguilera, country “star” Blake Shelton, loser Adam Levine and confused Cee-Lo Green judge people’s voices with their backs turned to the singer. They press a big button if they want to see the person and add them to “their team.” I don’t get it either, but I watched at least 3 episodes too much.
Courtney Cox plays a more annoying, plastic surgery-enhanced version of Monica, surrounded by equally annoying, unbearable women who are constantly guzzling wine and married to really dumb, ugly men. Sometimes, you just feel like watching colours that emit really grating sounds which make you want to stab something, …No?
7. Living Lahaina
I’m going to blame this on “Hangover Viewing.” Nothing happens at all; another one of these MTV reality shows where the content mostly consists of cheap montages set to really bad rock music. Surfers are barely able to construct sentences and even the narrator sounds like a complete douche. “Ah man, this wave makes me want to puke.”- Alex aka Gator puking in front of the ocean.
6. America’s Next Top Model Cycle 17
Tyra continues being able to talk about her career and make a bunch of girls live in a house plastered in Tyra photos. Oh Tyra!
5. Un Petit Mot Pour Kevin
Everyone just needed to see that again. Vive le Quebec, man.
4. Gossip Girl
I don’t know, guys, I don’t know why I sometimes watch this in secret in my room. It’s like staring at the ads in a magazines, but they’re moving. Sometimes they add new characters, but every season basically ends with Chuck and Blair loving each other.
3. Jersey Shore
Nobody knows why anyone is still watching this……nobody knows why we’re still watching this….It used to be funny/bad, but when it’s just bad/bad…I don’t know, I don’t know….
2. Occupation Double
If you think Jersey shore is bad, you haven’t watched Quebec reality TV. Every time I watched an episode, I felt like I was murdering a small child. While Quebecor is cutting jobs in all of its media outlets, it’s also throwing money at a bunch of douchebags to live in big houses in Portugal, travel the world, “trouver l’amour,” avoir des “rapprochements” et “des dépôts de lèvres” and win condos in the suburbs for doing so.
Highest-rated show in Quebec, friends.
“Ch’t'adore be”- douchebag dany “Ch’t'adore aussi”- douchebag chrystina
1. I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant
….They didn’t know they were pregnant. Reenactements included…………um, yeah.