By Katie Heffring
In the Desert
There is Nothing
And there is Everything (more…)
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Top Ten Guidelines You Should Follow In Order Not To Ruin New Year’s Eve For All Your Friends
31 Decby Roxane Hudon, obviously.
As you grow older, you start to realize that New Year’s Eve is always awful, it’s always a shit show, it always sucks. So, you have two possible solutions: stay home and hide under the covers while everyone suffers a horrible night out on the town or, since all your friends seem willing to risk it, go out anyway. Fuck it! Maybe this year, it’ll be fun! 2011 was a silly, silly year, why not end it with a silly, silly night! So here are a set of guidelines that will maybe, just maybe, ensure you have an OKAY to average night out on the town, after which you will wake up in 2012 with no regrets, all your friendships intact, money in the bank and no stranger sleeping next to you. (more…)
Top Ten Things that May or May Not also Happen to You while You’re Home for the Holidays
25 Dec
1. Your parents will ask you questions you cannot, under any circumstances, answer in any way. “What does your friend’s older brother’s girlfriend do for a living?” “I have no idea.” “Do you have proper virus protection on your computer?” “I don’t know.” “What’s the interest rate on your student loans?” “A percent of something…..” “Do you know if…?” “No I don’t.” At first, you’ll be irrationally annoyed but then you’ll feel bad that you aren’t interested enough in life, responsibilities and people to know any of these things. (more…)
Top Ten Worst Things I Learnt From The National With Peter Mansbridge
13 DecTop Ten Worst Things I Learnt From The National With Peter Mansbridge at 10 pm Last Night
(in no particular order, but in dutiful list form)
by Roxane Hudon
I’m going to write a top ten list every day, until January 1st. Here we go
1. When you stream it live via the Internet, you spend most of the broadcast watching an image telling you that the “Live Stream Will Resume ,” while thrilling news-type music plays in the background. They may as well show us the commercials, which, obviously, take up most of the broadcast. This becomes way more apparent when you’re watching “Live Stream Will Resume,” instead of the actual commercials. (more…)
Imagine
9 Decby Roxane Hudon
IMAGINE ALL THE PEOPLE
Imagine, People, imagine you lived inside Disneyworld. Imagine your address was something, like 1, Magic Kingdom, Disneyworld. Imagine you lived inside the Tower of Terror and you had to take that elevator every day, several times a day. Would you be jaded? Would it still be fun? Imagine you lived on top of Splash Mountain. Would your nemesis be the guy who lives on Space Mountain? (more…)
Fighting and Failing: A Take on Success
7 Dec
At the corner of Rue Rivard and Rue Gilford, there is the Montreal Aikikai, a dojo offering teachings in the Japanese martial art, Aikido. In the front window of this establishment, a television screen plays several demonstrations on a loop. During the day or night, through summer or winter, this cycle continues without fail: seasoned disciples karate chop wood, scissor kick wood, head-butt wood. Pine, spruce, birch, it doesn’t mean shit; it is going to get knocked the fuck out. (more…)
