by Malcolm Laing
I am an immigrant. I moved here to Montreal at the start of the summer and since then, I’ve learned a lot. I learned that T.I isn’t just a rapper; he’s a way of life. I learned that the metro is smelly, crowded and unbearably hot. I learned that those who live in NDG are a proud, mysterious and inbred people. I learned that he’s climbing in your windows, he’s snatching your people up, trying to rape em so you better hide your kids, hide your wife.
But most importantly, I learned how to make poutine.
Poutine à la Laval
2-6 bags of fromage squish-squish (depending on how québécois(e) your friends are)
1 large onion
4 cloves garlic
¼ cup oil and ¼ cup white flour
1 liter vegetable oil
2 cups vegetable stock
Slices potatoes into fries. Bathe them in cold water for at least an hour. Let dry completely.
Dice onion, mushrooms and garlic, sauté in an oiled frying pan. Set aside.
Make a roux by mixing oil and flour. Heat it up slowly on a medium pot, and then add cooked mushrooms, onion and garlic. Add vegetable stock, followed by those pesky spices. Let simmer and thicken while cooking your fries.
Heat oil in a big pot or wok and dump fries in. Cook for 8 minutes, then pull them out and let them degrease on a newspaper-covered plate. Reheat oil, and put the fries back in for 2-3 minutes. Pull the fries out once more, this time placing them into a salt and peppered Tupperware. Shake that shit around until your fries are covered in spicy goodness.
Serve fries covered in fromage squish-squish and then drenched in the hot gravy.
Enjoy the poutine hangover.
Making you fat since 2010