DEEP FRIED: Rob Ford Stuffed Donuts

by Malcolm Laing

In honor of our favorite high blood pressure mayor elect, I present you with the latest installment of Deep Fried: Rob Ford Stuffed Donuts. These delicious old fashioned donuts will bring back fond memories of the country fair, a time before immigration and brown people.  For the ultimate Rob Ford Experience ™, eat them as desert after a full course meal of FRIED CHICKEN. Also, be sure to make racist comments about Asians and or A-rabs while stuffin’ your face.

Ingredients:

Dough:

¼ cup butter (Rob Ford eats it by the stick)

2/3 cup scalded milk

2/3 cup warm water

4 ½ tsp active dry yeast

¾ cup sugar

2 beaten eggs

5 cups white flour (approximately)

¾ tsp salt

A dash of cloves

1 tsp cinnamon

Filling:

2 cups mixed frozen berries (I like raspberries and strawberries)

½ cup sugar

2 tbsp corn starch

Other stuff

1+ liters vegetable oil for DEEP FRYIN’

Extra sugar and cinnamon

A paper bag

Directions:

Scald milk in a small pot. Stir in butter until it melts. Cool to lukewarm.

Combine water and yeast in a large bowl. Stir until dissolved. Add lukewarm butter milk mixture and sugar. Add eggs. In another bowl, combine 2 ½ cup flour with salt and spices.  By hand, beat this dry mixture into your wet mixture. Mix in remaining flour until you have a soft dough. Knead dough for a minute or two, and then place it in an oiled bowl. Cover with a kitchen towel and put it in a warm draft free place to rise until doubled.

In a small pot on medium heat, melt frozen berries. Add sugar and cornstarch. Heat while stirring until berries are melted and a thick sauce emerges.

Once dough has doubled, punch down and divide in two. Roll it out into a big square, about ¼” thick. Cut out circles using a big glass or some other round thing that has about a 3” diameter. Cup the dough in your hands, fill with about a tablespoon or two of filling, and then close by covering with another donut circle, closing the seams with wet hands. Place at least an inch apart on a covered baking sheet to rise.

Reroll scraps and make more donuts. Once you get tired of putting in the effort of making stuffed donuts, just roll them out twice as thick and let them rise.

Heat your DEEP FRYIN’ oil in your wok or big pot. Once hot enough (375 degrees), drop in 4 donuts at a time (being careful not to burn yourself). Cook donuts for approximately one minute, then flip over, and cook another minute. Pull em out of the oil and place them on a paper towel covered plate to degrease. Repeat process until all donuts cooked.

In a paper bag, combine sugar and cinnamon. Place cooked donuts in bag, shake it around a little.

Now eat your donuts while they’re still hot. Until next time, never stop deep fryin’.