First Day of the Month: PANIC

by Roxane Hudon

So, Did you wake up this morning in a panic? “Oh Fuck, it’s the First of the Month?” kinda thing?
You know, that glorious day where a chunk of money gets sent here and there and back and up and down, all around, but far away. Rent, Heating, Fuck My Life Bus Pass. Do I really need to go anywhere for the next week? Oh right, school and work. Oh right, duty. Oh right, social engagements. Okay, I’ll meet you for coffee here. Okay, I’ll have lunch with you here. Oh shit, I have to pay rent. Oh shit, Phone Bill. Oh right, I have a severe phone deficiency. Yeah, no problem, just take it straight from my Visa. Mon Dieu, Mon Dieu, Mon Dieu.
So, you woke up this morning in a panic, relax, take it easy. Do you have a place to live? yes. Do you have friends that love you? yes. Do you have a family that is there for you no matter what? yes. Do you have a cat that sits on your lap while you check your e-mail? yes. Do you have a warm person to blanket you with affection and maybe, just maybe, some satisfaction? maybe, maybe not, that comes and goes, yes if you really want it. Are you alive? yes.
So, Did you wake up this morning with some Anxiety? Yes, yes. Enjoy the small things. Dance in your kitchen. Fuck it, buy some wine and listen to some Edith Piaf. Maybe buy a one-way ticket to Paris (Put it On Visa, Panic Later..Or Never). Maybe not. Whatever. Whatever Works. Call a Loved One. Remember What Matters. You’re Alive. Everything Is Going to be Alright.
Still Not Convinced?
Turn off the lights.
Give up on the day, I’m sure it’s been long and painful.
Turn off the lights
Finish the bottle in your glass, close the door.
Now Press Play.
And, I love you.