Lilith Fair!!!!! Is Back!!!!!

by Lina Harper

You know that tickly feeling you get at the edge of your butt when you’re excited about dinner or thinking about your sexy future ex? Yeah, i get that when i think of Lilith Fair. I know right, GAY. Like in that lame way, not that trendy we are straight men who love to down cans of PBR with the lezzies at the derby game, but like fucking GAY man. But this feeling isn’t about the GAY WHITE MAN. This is about feeling like fuck man, i think feminsisticky politcis are like FREALS on their way back.

ALso, I RILLY want to go to the Boston one. Dudes, buy me a ticket! Or dudes, just come with! Like fucking CAT BANANAS POWER is gonna be there. She’s like every child, woman, man and elders’ whet dream like. And Zee Avi and friggin Tegan and the other one. FUCK ME I’M HARD.

I dunno who Carly Simon is or who Sarah McGLAWkin is or who “Winning OurStage Artist” is but they’re prolly going to suck. But a least i get to hang with some lesbians and maybe sleep on my lesbian friends’ couch (HI MYLENE. HI MANDY. Fancy a visit?)

Like whut is this crappelanga?

SHE IS SINGING ABOUT BEING TALL. THIS SONG IS ABOUT TALLNESS. WHY AM I ALIVE TO WITNESS THIS?

Why nobody invite DARONDO to Lilicaca?

OK. I’m a lot less pumped about this Boston couch/vagina surf now. I’M TALL.