I’ll be Gone Till November.

by Roxane Hudon

Sometimes, the World is shit. Sometimes, shit hits the fan. Sometimes, just shit. A disaster happens somewhere, the World is sad, the Media piles into the press jet, notepad out, camera out, Let’s talk about Sex Baby, Jesus Walks with Me. Find the saddest baby stuck in rubble, take a photo, send it in, talk about it with your friends, give five bucks for that sad baby, go to a dance party for that sad baby and all the sad babies, weep about how the World is shit and Life is unfair, get drunk. Six months pass, forget about it, there are other wars to dance to and t-shirts to be made. Read the news. Father kills two sons, drinks a smoothie and shoots himself after. Read the news. Lloyd Robertson is retiring, the future of Canadian media is uncertain. The ball is in your court Mr. Mansbridge, play hard. Talk to your friend on Facebook chat: she’s getting tear-gassed in Palestine. That’s cool. Review a talking dog movie. In 3D. Send five bucks in the mail for that pelican in that oil spill. Talk about the oil spill. Blame the baby boomers. Fuck la planète. Drink a smoothie. Read the news. Wyclef Jean for President.
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Flip the page. North Korea is a threat, because that little man in khaki pyjamas with the big glasses escaped his Pokéball again. What a hoot that guy.  Wyclef    Jean    for    President.
Turn back the page. Sometimes, the World is awesome.
Sit down now. Watch this video.

You’ve just watched the future. Wyclef Jean is the president of Haiti. Shakira is his minister of Agriculture, because her hips don’t lie and the world needs a bit of honesty. Jay-Z runs the UN. T.I’s got the World Bank. I’ve got Canada and the U.S. and Lauryn Hill is the Empress of the World. Bono can be found at the communist bar on St-Laurent. He’ll challenge you to a game of Chess for a round of Panachés.   Courtney Love heads the FBI, CIA, RCMP, INTERPOL, SCOTLAND YARD AND AL-QAEDA. Big Boi features on every song ever made.  Wyclef Jean For President. Hasta Siempre Commandante and Viva la Revolución. ROXANE OUT.