Reality in 2010

by Roxane Hudon

Latest tracks by butthenagain (Shawn Thompson)
Hi friends! Do you realize that it is 2010? That we are living in The Future, one that many imagined decades ago, dreaming of flying cars and shiny one-piece silver jumpsuits. Our phones went from being tied to a wall, to gigantic mobile phones that required their own gigantic cases, to tiny little gadgets that you put in your ear and talk into the air, WHILE still having the use of your hands? You can do the dishes and talk on the phone! Our phones are now smarter than us! We don’t need to think anymore, or figure out directions! We don’t need to call each of our many, many friends to tell them each individually that we are feeling sick! No! With one push of a button, the whole world knows! We have artificial hearts and artificial livers and our windows can clean themselves! Electronic fireplaces and robot cats! You don’t have to worry about your 15,000 page limited edition of Les Mis, shove that shit in your E-book! Date Rape detectors and a Birth Control Patch! GPS, CGI, NBA! Celebrities used to be glamorous Hollywood stars, now they’re pimply 15-year old kids lip synching on YouTube; they’re you and I and your cat falling from the kitchen table!  Getting on the Internet used to take fifteen minutes, it used to include dial-up foreplay! And you could only be on it for 30 minutes before your mom needed the phone again. Now we’re on the Internet all day all the time! We’re on the Internet when we’re up in the air, you know, FLYING! Hybrid cars, Segways, Blu-ray, solar power, microwave ovens, the atomic bomb and silly putty! Babies made in test tubes, laser beams and going on the fucking moon! Pacemakers and super glue! What about social and human rights? Black people used to work in our fields, now check out Mr. President! (And the King of the South). Women used to not be able to work! Now, check me out! Reviewing Harry Potter and making Lattes! The media used to control our opinions and thoughts about the world around us! Now we are the media, every citizen can report and you make your own opinion! Of course, the world is still imperfect and so are we, but fuck, we used to shit in buckets and throw it out the window! So, tell me, WHY is it that the engagement of a ROYAL ( a prince to-be to-be..a King that will never even be King!) gets the first page of newspapers AROUND the world? Monarchy! MONARCHY! The Globe and Mail ran A SPECIAL ON THE ENGAGEMENT. “Journalists” around the world trying to figure out WHEN IS THE BIG DAY? WHAT WILL SHE WEAR? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR THE QUEEN? WEDDING AS BIG AS HIS MAMA’S? Well, my loyal peasantry, I guess some things never change.