Best way to travel

Best Way to travel

by Gaëlle Engelberts

Fifteen hours on a bus, twisty roads – it seems Poland never grasped the concept of straight highways – all this accompanied by a cheap (and ENDLESS) Hollywood production dubbed in loud Russian. The worse trip I ever took. The constant rocking of the bus mixed with the smell of boiled eggs, vodka, and cigarettes had the unfortunate effect of nearly reversing the course of my last meal. Thank god for Gravols: the drug industry saved this old bus from another coat of unwanted silt.

It was on my way to New York City that I started to recall this bumpy trip to Vilnius, Lithuania. A trip starkly different from the one I was undertaking. In a reclining chair with a beer and long hours of idleness in front of me, it felt more like Acapulco than an AMTRAK wagon. With each graceful sways around the snow-covered peaks of the Adirondacks, my love for trains swelled.
Isn’t that poetic.

Flowery prose apart, this trip rocked. Maybe that’s why the train was filled with a far-ranging sample of Montreal hipsters. All these tight t-shirt wearing and moustache adorning hippies had jumped – literally – on the bandwagon and you should do the same.

This is an overt propaganda call. At least I’m not faking neutrality here like most mainstream newsmakers do. Maybe this way we’ll stop looking like transportation RETARDS in North America. You know, like finally having passenger trains that go over 120 kilometres per hour. (We’re not in the fifties anymore: the trip from Montreal to New York should take 4 hours not 11.)

Trains are the best, just go and buy your ticket next time you travel.

This fair and balanced piece of journalism was especially written for you, to BALLZ your day, directly from the corner of Broadway and 10th Street.