by Roxane Hudon
“Now she’s in me, always with me, Tiny Dancer in my head.” You probably thought you were just like Penny Lane. Bohemian little pixie who loved music, fell in love with musicians and charmed them all with your slightly psychotic behaviour that included dancing around an empty venue, barefooted and braless, to Cat Steven’s The Wind.
You probably thought you were free-spirited and quirky, telling people that you were going to travel to Morocco “when you felt like it,” because you followed your heart and your impulses. You probably thought you were brave and bold, but at the same time, really fragile and vulnerable, which made men from all the colours of the artistic rainbow fall madly in love with you, because you were so unique and wild. You probably thought the whole “Band-Aid” thing was incredibly inspired, and agreed with these poetic notions of “loving music” and doing everything “for the music.” Ah yes, life was so wonderful when you were Penny Lane. No matter how many dangerous narcotics you digested, there would always be someone around to save you.
But then you realized you weren’t naturally charming and innocent. Maybe you had a different kind of innocence, much harder to sell. Maybe you started to realize that you weren’t the lovely, feminine, free-spirited Bohemian, but the awkward, bumbling and shy man-child. Yes, it’s about time you realize you were never Penny Lane and you were always William Miller. You never had this Penny Lane brand of self-confidence, but you always had this William Miller kind of unassertiveness. You weren’t meant to bask in the spotlight, frolicking about naked underneath an oversized hippie coat. You were meant to hide behind a mic, a typewriter, a camera, a computer. You are just trying to steal some of that sunshine, because you will always be undeniably uncool, you will always be The Enemy. You were never Penny Lane, you were always William Miller. You were never a Band-Aid, you just always wanted to be friends with the rockstars.
There is no such thing as a braless, dancing wonder.
Disclaimer: This post may or may not be autobiographical.