Bad Netflix: Life Happens

Genre: Chick Flick

Life Happens is the kind of goofball girly film that exists in a world where the concept of abortion is totally foreign. Thus, when wild party girls Kim (Krysten Ritter) and Deena (Kate Bosworth) bring back dudes to the giant house they share in L.A. and Deena snaps up the last condom, this leads to Kim popping out a baby months later. Condoms, babies or bust, God bless y’all!

Kim then finds herself helplessly having to cope with her arduous job of being a dog walker for an inexplicably super rich, baby-hating woman, while being a full-time single mom, but also a Moany McMoanerson constantly whining about how she misses the peen. I get it, even moms need some vitamin D. When she meets a tall handsome guy at a bar, she’s so excited that she somehow lies about having a baby, which is going to be a great story to tell her son later. “I lied about your existence, because, *eggplant emoji* but then my breast milk exploded everywhere!” Her friendship with Deena also goes to shits, because Deena’s go-getterness and condescending pseudo-feminism clashes with Kim’s dream of opening a dog mall and hanging out at baby cafes. You see, Deena is still totz a free spirit, because she does it with dudes in the library, but Kim is just a breastfeeding sell-out who leaves her baby with a 10-year old and subsequently feels a little bit sad about it. 

Director/screenwriter Kat Coiro probably meant to deliver some kind of feel-good film on motherhood and pals. Instead, this mish-mash mess strays somewhere between the dog mall dream and the odd cast of supporting characters, like Kim and Deena’s other roommate Laura (Rachel Bilson), who’s just there to play out this strange running gag revolving around her being a virgin but always working jobs requiring her to be nearly naked. Her main line repeated throughout is “I can’t find my keys.” Also, Bosworth pretending to be a writer/lady columnist by just typing furiously at a Macbook and advising a receptionist she should learn how to skydive to get her man is a pretty touching homage to Carrie Bradshaw.

Watch this if you’re a self-proclaimed “bad mom” who kinda misses being a D-munching wild woman, attending Kings of Leon gigs and surviving off shots of vodka-lime, but also wants the confirmation that that lifestyle is completely frivolous and that she made the right choice in the end. Right? Right.

Excerpt from future Pulitzer Prize-winning zine Not Recommended for You, a compilation of reviews of the very worst offered by Netflix, including titles such as G.B.F, Addicted to Sexting, Zoombies & many more!

Get it at Canzine or Expozine soon.


1 Comment on Bad Netflix: Life Happens

  1. Great article! Very funny. I want to see that!

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